A Web of Hearts and Souls
by Zurizip
Summary: A series of one shots in which I attempt to understand what each character thinks and feels. Most will be slightly romance-based, some not. Focus shifts from character to character. Charecter of the day: Sesshomaru. Reviews are Reciprocated!
1. Sango's Fall

_**Sango's Fall**_

_A short and sappy ficlet concerning hidden love and a pained heart._

I should not be in love with him.

What am I saying? I cannot be in love with him! That...that lecher, sleezeball, that...monk.

Sango, Sango, how far you have fallen. That the last remaining member of the demon slaying clan should fall in love with, of all things, a monk. And a seductor of a monk at that.

But I simply cannot be in love with him!

Of course, it looks as if I do not have a choice. Damn my traitorous heart.

It could be worse, I suppose. I certainly do not envy Kagome, but she has few objections to loving Inuyasha. She sees the best part of him; brings out the human side of him. Other than him not returning her love, she sees no reason to try to stop.

But Inuyasha can be trusted around other women, saving perhaps Kikyo. Every time I turn around though, **he** has asked another girl to marry him, or to bear his child.

Maybe I should take it as respect that he did not ask me until I reminded him. But I keep hearing a nagging voice, that I suppose is in every woman's pining heart, telling me that I am not womanly enough for him, or not beautiful enough for him. My scars do nothing for my appearance, I know this. I do not regret the actions that led me to them, nor do I begrudge the people I saved in acquiring them, but I wish that they did not stand out so. They are ugly reminders of things that I wish to forget.

Things that he would help me forget.

Argh! What am I thinking about? He was there! He would only serve as yet another reminder! Wouldn't he?

God's protect me; I can't fool myself, much as I try. I am in love him. But why? I thought my heart to be stronger than that. Stronger than to fall in love with a womanizing, lecherous monk!

But I suppose that I must give him some credit. He is kind; he helps people with the curse put upon him, rather than hiding it away, though every time he uses it, it brings him closer to death. At least he is noble in every other aspect but where women are concerned.

And as I look at him now, staring at the stars, murmuring his nightly prayers to Buhhda, my heart burns in loneliness. I have lost all of my family, my friends, my life. Nothing is left to me but Kilala, and the friends that I have made avenging my family. It is a large void to fill, seeming to reach beyond the stars and heavens, beyond the seas and lands of this earth.

But, on my soul, I think that he could fill it all to the brim.

They think me cold. Who could blame them? I must be, or risk losing hold of the string that my sanity hangs on. Kagome knows me best, I think. She may even know of my true feelings for him. Thank the gods that she has the good sense to stay quiet, not only to them, but to me. I fear if she said anything to me it would all come spilling out.

But thinking about it only makes it worse. I must try to sleep this night. Perhaps my dreams will bring some measure of peace.

Miroku...


	2. Miroku

Love was never a...priority for me. I knew that I was capable of it, always, but that it would never come. If I have felt love, then I did not know it, or blocked it off for the sake of my sanity; knowing my life was uncertain.

Certainty. I have never had that, concerning my next day, year, meal, generation. I suppose I half scare women when I ask them straight off to bear my child; but I must ask first. They must understand that my first and foremost priority is to kill Naraku; always. To avenge my grandfather, my father, and myself. Love can, and must, wait.

Of course, I love in other senses. I worship Buhhda, I love the moon, stars, plants; what 'family' is left to me; but...

I cannot love a woman; not yet. I wish that I could, sometimes, when someone stops my heart and stirs my soul, but I cannot let myself. I do not worry about rejection; that will come if it must, but I worry that if I fell in love, she might as well. And when I am consumed; what will happen to her? No, if someone is to bear my child, it must be a relationship purely of necessity. A relationship with certain...spoils, granted, but of necessity none-the-less.

My friends believe me to be lust-ridden, lecherous, I have even heard sleazy; which I must say is quite an interesting word. I'm not sure that they understand. Well; perhaps they do, I am as lust filled as any normal man would be, but the situation is different in my eyes. I cannot love; therefore, I must resort to lust. It is my...cushion, against my heart.

Hah. My heart. How I hate it sometimes. Repeatedly of late, I have been playing tug-of-war with myself. It appears that telling myself not to fall in love, and actually committing the act are two entirely different things. Easier said than done, I suppose. And there is no doubt in my heart that I am in love. As I have said, I know what it is. I think of her, and my heart constricts. I touch her, and my very skin sings. I look at her, and I know that I can never tell her.

She has suffered far too much for me to inflict yet another loss on her. If I told her...no, I could never tell her. For my sake, as well as hers, she will never know from my lips, and, if I can manage it, from my eyes. Yes, they do travel over her as if she were a normal woman; admiring her; but damned if I could harm that soul more than it has already been. And she is so strong, so graceful; it is an honor to watch her in battle. She wields _Horaikotsu _as if it were a long ribbon, and extension of her body, beautiful and deadly. And the fire in her eyes mirrors that of her faithful companion's demon form.

Ah, Kilala, little rascal. I have told you far more than I think is wise; and you listen as if you understand. Sometimes I worry that you do speak, and that you may spill my secrets, my reasons, all to her, when I have worked so hard to keep it hidden. It is ironic that a demon is my poison, and a demon also the very thing that allows me to bleed the poison out. Every story that I tell to you is another burden off of me.

Does she see you the same? Or does she see you as a friend? A shoulder to lean on, when she can not stand up herself? In the past, we have used each other for support, morally and physically, and I suspect that we both keep you in confidence. Perhaps even Kagome and Inuyasha do as well. Who can tell? I think it best that I do not know.

Sometimes it is hard, hard to keep my thoughts away from her, my eyes averted, and my hands off. Well, we can't all be perfect. I think she is confused that I do not pay her the mind that I do other females. But she does not know that I cannot love her, and if I ever asked her again, it would be sincere. If I ask completely strange women, they can bear my children, and not fall in love with me, and I not fall for them: that would be better for all concerned. I do not wish to know that in dying; I am leaving someone behind.

But the thought of leaving without telling her burns me even more; and it is a burn that will not go away.

Sango, Sango, it is a delicate game I play with my own heart. And you are the master; but you do not know it. You cannot know it. I could not live with myself, knowing that I would leave your heart pining; should you fall with me.

But how can I live now, knowing that I love you, and can never tell you?

Sango...


	3. The Stench of Human

_**Rin**_

This morning Lord Sesshomaru said something strange. Something about hating the stench of humans. I wanted to ask him if I was human, but I didn't. I know I'm human, but he never complains about _me_ smelling. I'm afraid, if I asked, he'd notice that I smell. I don't want that, because then he'd make me go, and I don't want to. Even if he does sometimes scare me.

Lord Jaken, he never scares me, and he's always _very _sad when Lord Sesshomaru is gone. I can't figure out why. He always comes back, and unless we've been bad, he doesn't yell at us when he comes back. Lord Sesshomaru never yells, though, at least, not that I've ever seen. Not like those people at my old village, they were always yelling at something, for something, or just plain old yelling. They were dumb; that's why I never talked to them. And...well, I couldn't talk.

When I found Lord Sesshomaru, I knew he was smart. And strong. He was all bloody and torn up, but he still talked to me. And he didn't yell. I remember just being so happy that he didn't yell that I came back again the next day. And the next. And I brought him food, even though he never ate. It made me happy, to take care of him. I was

Then he saved me from those wolves. And I followed him. I don't know for sure, but I think he might be a fallen angel, or a god, or _something_. After all, who else but one of those could have saved me? I was dead.

Sometimes I wonder, though, because he stays up and mutters about some brother. He doesn't know I hear, because I keep my eyes shut really well and I know how to fool people. But if he's like...like _that_, then maybe he knows anyway...

Maybe I shouldn't listen to Lord Sesshomaru like that anymore.

But I'm curious! He disappears every few days, after some thing or the other, or to talk to someone. I wish he'd take me sometime; I want to know why he always disappears. I asked Lord Jaken once, and he just threw up his hands...claws...um... what ever those things are, and told me he didn't know where Lord Sesshomaru went and why he didn't ever take his faithful retainer!

Sometimes I wonder if Lord Jaken is in love with Lord Sesshomaru. That would be very silly, because Lord Sesshomaru certainly does not love Lord Jaken. That, at least, I know for certain. Still, it's almost sad how melancholy he gets when Lord Sesshomaru goes away. He mopes and mourns as if Lord Sesshomaru was going to leave us alone forever.

But I know he won't. He would not leave me alone forever with Lord Jaken. Besides, even though Lord Jaken is really annoying; I think Lord Sesshomaru likes him for some reason. I don't know why; I just think he's annoying.

Sometimes I worry that Lord Jaken is right, and one day, Lord Sesshomaru will leave me. After all, I'm just a little girl; what would an angel want with _me? _Then I remember that he saved me. I've been with him all this time. He won't leave me, even if does sometimes say he will.

Sometimes, people see me with Lord Sesshomaru and they get angry and scared. I don't know why they'd get angry. They yell at him to let me go, and stuff like that. Once I tried to tell them that I didn't want to go, but Lord Sesshomaru wouldn't let me. He told me to be quiet, and I was. I still don't know why they yell at him so; especially when they call him a demon. He's not a demon, I know because if he was, he'd be meaner. Demons are evil, and they don't save little girls; they kill them; like those wolves.

Jaken is squawking; I guess that means that Lord Sesshomaru is back again. I hope he's in a better mood then this morning. I don't want to him to think about humans being smelly anymore.

_I feel that this requires a bit of explaining. Rin seems to be such a mystery to everyone, and I have only seen Inuyasha up to the current place in Adult Swim, so I had to take liberties with plots and such things. Also, trying to write in a way that would keep Rin in character was difficult, so if I slipped dramatically at any point, I apologize, that's why this fiction is being done, as a writing exercise. _

_Next up: Sesshomaru, aka Lord Fluffy (no, I won't call him that in this series ever.). If you haven't picked up on the pattern, I'm choosing a character and then doing their counter-part, romantically or otherwise._

_Please review!_


	4. The Demon

_**Sesshomaru**_

She is an enigma. A mystery, a secret, a riddle, a question. One that I cannot unravel, divulge, guess, or answer. And day by day, it grows and grows, just as she does. She spoke of the sky today, wheedling on my ears as I suspect human children are prone to doing. She said that she saw me in one of the clouds, and asked if that's where I came from. I suspect she thinks me an angel of some sort. I was loathe to tell her that I did not come from the clouds, and so said nothing; instead asking her where she came up with such ideas. She simply smiled at me, and said nothing.

I do not understand why I keep her. I told myself that it was for the extra power of the Tensaiga, but I have questioned it time and again. She is a far more comforting presence than Jaken, who squawks any time I do anything unexpected to him. Obnoxious toad. She asks few questions, and obeys me well. Perhaps when she is older, she will be less conforming. What I will do then, I do not know. It is obvious, if disgraceful, that I have allowed myself to grow fond of her. Perhaps I should distance myself, find a place for her to stay. Perhaps not. She may yet be of use.

Of course, I could never allow my half-brother and that chit that he loves to know about her. They would automatically assume that I had done something horrible to her, hurt her in some way. Despite common belief, I do try not to kill the completely innocent, and I do repay my debts. She risked her life to care for me, as I recovered from the Tetsuaiga's wind scar, even if I did not receive it well. She unlocked the powers of the Tensaiga. In return, I saved her life, and am caring for her.

Ah well. Inuyasha would hardly understand about the delicacies of repaying debts. He is too stupid, and too base to know such things. And that girl that he travels with, Kagome, she might understand, but even her kind heart would not see the connection that keeps me from harming her. Even I do not quite understand it; how could she?

Humans. Rin is the only one that I have met that I did not despise completely on sight. She disturbed my sleep, only to offer me food. I pushed her away, and it only made her come back. She did not speak until I showed her. And then she stayed, never wavering, never frightened, always obedient. Did her village treat her so badly that my cool treatment of her is a blessing?

And they call me the demon. I at least have my reasons for torment and death. Humans, feh, what utterly useless beings. They are weak in body and mind, have little self control, foul the very things that they live upon and kill each other upon an order. I cannot stand them. I do not know how my brother can travel with them. Then again, he is half human. I suppose his mother's blood allows him to ignore their stench. I cannot do such a thing.

Jaken asks me how I can ignore Rin's smell. I do not ignore it; I simply know that it is not as rancid as the other's, thus it is tolerable. Perhaps it is the debt I feel I owe her, that life owes her; but perhaps not. It is possible that she simply does not stink as much as the adults of her kind do. She is a child. She has a while yet before she can shoulder the burdens, and thus the acrid smell of her elders.

Aie, I am rambling. A child, and a human child, no less, should not give me half the troubling thoughts that she has. I will think of this no more.

_Allow me just to say that typing as Sesshomaru is HARD. But I love him as a character. Next up, Shippo. Please review, I promise to review back! I'll keep going regardless (Saving best for last: Inu/Kag) but it would make me feel loved!_


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